This Is A Lie

A couple things have been edited as of 1/6/2009

Whenever I'm bored I'll go through sites online to find random, cute quotes to use as away messages. Lately I've been coming across this one [or variations of it]: either you loved him, or you didn't; love isn't something that just goes away. And I feel like that's a big, fat lie.

Granted for most people it probably could be true; most people being teenage girls who're still in middle/high school who have no real-life experiences or actual relationships.*note: sex does not equate an actual relationship it just means you gave it up way too early.*  I just don't see this being true for adults; not that I really consider myself an adult but I'm definitely not in high school anymore.

Obviously I am going to be the basis for my argument as to why this quote isn't true. And I'm pretty sure you can guess what I'm going to use as the basis for my argument involve me. Mike. I fell for Mike. Hard and fast. I was ready to marry him and I was ready to give up a lot of life experiences I was looking forward to because I loved him. The second he put his hands on me the way he did everything changed. I couldn't look at him without wondering how he would potentially treat our children or if he would ever do this to his daughter. I couldn't live with and marry a man having those kind of doubts. Granted, falling out of love with him wasn't as instantaneous as I'm giving the impression it actually took quite a while. I don't remember the exact day I fell out of love with him but I know that I've reached a point where I can live without him.

If everything was as black and white as that quote is suggesting then everyone would stay with their first true love. The heartbreak you experience from the loss of that love wouldn't exist. Relationships would be easier. Breakups wouldn't be so bad because you'd know that they were telling the truth when they tell you that they don't love you anymore. Except it isn't like that. Rarely anyone stays with their first true love. Relationships are a lot of work. And breakups do suck. A lot. And the pain of looking into someone's eyes knowing they're looking at you the same way they have for however long telling you that they love you while they blatantly lie to your face is one of the most painful experiences I've ever gone though.

That's what I think about before I go to bed. How depressing.